An Unlikely Pair
by NameInvalidd
Summary: It's just another day out in Blood Gulch when Miss Freelancer runs into the laziest member of the Red team. will things take a turn for the worst, or will the two make an interesting connection? One-shot


"Finally, some privacy," Grif sighed, taking a seat in the shadow of the overhanging rocks. He removed his helmet and pulled out an old, crumbled pack of cigarettes from his armor with a matchbox.

"Hello old friends, I've missed you," He said in a soft voice, stroking the pack gently. He pulled out a cigarette from it, stuck it in his mouth, and lit a match all in one fluid and well-practiced movement. After lighting the cigarette and putting the match out, he took a long drag from it, exhaling it slowly. At the end of the breath, his body racked with coughs.

"Damn Simmon's baby lungs," Grif spat out after he recovered his breath. "Of course he leaves me to break them in for him." He lets out another small sigh and places the cigarette back in his mouth.

The sound of a pistol being cocked behind Grif startles him slightly. A stern female voice reaches his ears.

"Alright you cockbite, what the hell do you think you're doing up here?"

Arrogance kicking in, Grif turned around slightly and took his cigarette in hand, examining it as he let out a few smoke rings. "Oh you know, plotting the end of humanity and coming up with a new world order for when I take over as ruler. What does it look like to you?" He glanced up into Tex's visor with a sarcastic gleam in his eye.

She let out an irritated growl. "Don't feed me shit, Red. Hand over the smokes and no one will get hurt." Tex held out her free hand, never lowering her gun.

"Look sweetheart, I'd love to sit here all day and have a smoke with you, but this is my last pack and I won't be getting any more from Command for a while." Grif took her offered hand and pulled himself up with it, taking Tex quite off guard. "We both know this war's a joke, don't pretend like you actually care about what team I'm on. Especially when you have my retarded sister in your guy's base. How's that working out for you guys anyways? Did that turquoise dumb-ass knock her up yet?"

Tex, seemingly dazed by his bold move, lowered her gun. She still replied warily, "No, not yet but I wouldn't be surprised if she was by the time I got back."

Grif shrugged as he finished off the last of his cigarette and tossed the bud away. "So what are you doing up here anyways? I can't imagine you would be scouting our base."

A sigh escaped her lips. "I had to get away from those idiots. Caboose is all over Sheila, Church is bitching about someone touching his rifle, and Tucker and Sister are doing who knows what in his bedroom, but they're awfully loud about it."

To Grif's surprise, Tex pulled off her helmet and holstered the pistol she had earlier been threatening him with. "I'm sure if you wanted, you could easily take them all out in no time," he pointed out.

"Yeah, but their stupidity kind of grows on you," she said a bit reluctantly, making Grif chuckle.

"I know what you mean," he muttered, looking back at the red base where shouts from Sarge could be heard asking where Grif ran off to and stating what he'd like to do with him if he caught him sleeping on the job again.

"So about that smoke..." Tex gave a kind of half-smile, scratching the back of her head.

Grif turned and smirked at her. "I guess I could give you one," he said, popping one out of the pack and handing it to her along with a match.  
She lit it and took a long drag off of it, exhaling just as slowly as Grif had when he first lit his cigarette. "I've missed these things so much, even though they're only crappy Marlboro Lights."

"Yeah, but they're the only kind that they'll fly in here. Its better than nothing."

"Good point." Tex took another drag and turned to look at Grif. "You know, you really aren't that bad for a simulation trooper."

He shrugged and looked down at a loose rock. "I never really wanted to be in this war anyways. I hate it here."

She continued watching him. "You know, we have some good liquor back at the Blue Base. Or at least I do, the guys don't even know we get alcohol in our rations. If you like, we could head back there and continue our conversation over a drink."

Grif's head shot up in surprise and he stared at Tex, utterly dumbstruck. "Uh yeah, that sounds great." A genuine smile crossed his lips.  
She smiled in return. "Grab your helmet then and follow me."

* * *

At the Blue Base, everybody jumped in surprise at the sight of the orange-clad soldier waltzing in behind Tex.

"What the hell do you think you're doing here, Red! Go back to your own base and leave us alone," shouted out Church.

"Would you relax? He's with me," Tex shouted back, resting a hand on her hip. Grif just stared blankly at him.

Sister instead ran over to Grif and threw her arms around him. "What's up, big brother!? How are things over at the Red Base? Oh, how's Sarge doing? And Simmons and Donut? Will you tell them I say hi?"

Grif let out a disgusted growl and pushed her off. "Would you shut up? They're fine, and I'll be sure to get the message to them later."

Tex let out a sigh and grabbed Grif's hand. "Just follow me. The rest of you, leave us the hell alone." She glared at each of her fellow Blue teammates in turn, making them all pause and nod chastely. Smirking at their reactions, she then proceeded to drag Grif off to her room.

As the door closed behind then, Grif let out a light chuckle. "I'm surprised they haven't instated you as the CO around here. The one you have now is a dumbass."

"You're telling me," Tex muttered, tossing her helmet into the corner. She then turned to her dresser and opened a secret compartment on the side. "This is my private liquor collection. What would you like to drink?" She then turned to him and raised an eyebrow.

Grif shrugged in response and sat down on the edge of the bed, laying his helmet by his feet. "Surprise me."

Tex began pulling out random bottles and setting them on the top of the dresser, along with two glasses. Any ice flown in to Blood Gulch would melt the second you brought it outside, so it would just be the alcohol. After a while of expertly mixing various liquors, she handed a glass to Grif.

"I call this the Tonsil Scorcher," she said with a small smirk, waiting for him to take the first drink.

He did, and immediately afterwards started coughing. "Woah, that's strong. Goodbye, new liver. It was nice knowing you..."

Tex had taken a sip while he was coughing, and began giggling at his comment. She stopped right as she realized what she was doing and hoped he hadn't heard the very un-Texlike sound. "I hope you aren't a lightweight, or you're going to be staggering out of here in no time."

Grif laughed. "I've been drinking since I was 12, I'm no lightweight." To emphasize his point, he took another drink and was able to swallow without so much as a shiver.

Tex, impressed by his tolerance, polished off the rest of her drink in one go. "Then lets see how long it'll take before we're both staggering." At that, she smirked and made herself another drink.

* * *

Grif doubled over, trying to stop the fit of giggles that had just overcome him. "You think that's bad?" He slurred, drunkenly pointing at Tex as he set down his glass. "Let me tell you about Sarge's last birthday party. Donut baked a huge cake while we were all out guarding the perimeter. We came back and found it sitting in the middle of the living room, complete with sparklers along the edges. I have to admit, I didn't think the cake was going to turn out to look so appetizing. I went to smell it, but underneath the frosting scent, there was a faint hint of baby oil and latex. And then Simmons asked where Donut was... I'm sure you can figure out what happened from there."

"Donut does seem like the flamboyant type. Are you sure he's not gay?" Tex was fighting back the laughter. If she wasn't completely hammered by now, after they both consumed at least 10 glasses each and the bottles were near empty, then she was pretty buzzed.

"Well he hasn't made any moves on me, but I'm still not too sure. Maybe him and Simmons have some freaky cyborg-human kinky time going on during their off days, I don't know." Grif turned his eyes down to his orange boots. It was starting to get hot in the room, and he had the urge to get out of his armor.

Apparently Tex was thinking the same thing, because she let out a rather dramatic sigh and started undoing her armor. "I'm dying of heat. I wonder if those idiots are messing with the thermostat again. Wouldn't be the first time."

With each piece she took off, she let it clatter to the floor. After a few minutes, she was sitting on the bed in just her black regulation bodysuit. Grif couldn't help but stare. The suit pointed out every single curve on her body, leaving nothing to the imagination.

Tex looked over at him curiously. "I can see you sweating from the heat, just take off the armor."

Grif, couldn't help but chuckle at that. "Oh trust me, it's not the armor," he muttered under his breath, but began removing his as well. It only took a minute before he was in just his bodysuit as well.

Tex eyed him up and down. "For a soldier, you're a little flabby."

Grif blushed at that. "Hey, no need to be rude now. We're having a good time."

Tex giggled. "Sorry, couldn't help myself." She let her gaze roam back up to his face and look directly into his eyes.

All of a sudden, it felt like time stopped. Both their breathing slowed down as they looked into one another's eyes. Grif couldn't look away, its like his sight locked on only her.

Then Tex started crawling closer to him.

"Um, Tex? What are you doing?" The words came out more quietly timid than he had expected or hoped for. She hadn't heard him anyways and continued forward until she was right in his face.

"Kiss me," she said softly, much to his surprise. He hesitated, wondering if he heard her correctly, and a second later she had grabbed his face and pulled him towards her.

Her lips were on his in an instant, catching him off guard. It took him a moment to realize what had happened, thanks to the alcohol, but he figured it out and began kissing back, wrapping his arms around her small waist and leaning back so she would be on top of him.

Tex pressed into him, slipping her tongue possessively into his mouth. His hands wandered over her body, coming to rest on her back where it curved up to her ass.

After a few minutes, she pulled back and stared him dead in the eyes, sending him shivering in fear.

"Take off your suit," She commanded, and without hesitation he began to strip out of the thin, black bodysuit.

* * *

Grif lay there, his arms wrapped around the naked Freelancer, momentarily stunned. Did he really just sleep with the most badass girl in Blood Gulch, or was this just a dream? It certainly felt real.

After a moment, Tex looked up at him. "You're not too bad," she said with a smile, running a finger up and down his chest.

Grif chuckled. "I don't think I even need to tell you the same. I never thought you could be so flexible." He winked at her, making her laugh in response.

"I think you should go, I heard your CO shouting with Church outside a moment ago."

He sighed sadly. "I guess so." Reluctantly, the soldier swung his feet over the edge of the bed and began dressing himself.

Tex followed suit, getting dressed rather quickly and working on putting the alcohol away.

After Grif finished dressing himself, he looked over at the black-clad soldier. "I guess I'll see you later, Tex." He grabbed his helmet and headed for the door.

"Call me Allison," She said, causing him to turn and look at her. She gave him a sincere smile. "Its been nice. By the way, you shouldn't breathe a word of this to anyone."

A puzzled look crossed his face. "Why not?"

Suddenly Tex's face turned dead serious. "Because if you do, I'll come after you and castrate you using only a rusty spoon and a nail." A smirk crossed her face. "See you around, cockbite."


End file.
